Nostalgia As A Gift
Hazy memories of a life once lived is not always an obstacle for moving forward
I recently took a trip with my son back on a tour of a few schools as he thinks about his upcoming college decision. We made our way to Nashville, where he was due to attend a camp. We had a couple of days to spare, so we visited some of our old haunts and reminisced about our time there. It has only been two years since we moved to Texas, but for a teenager, that’s a long time. We drove into our old neighborhood and he climbed to the top of a favorite hill, knocked on a few neighbor’s doors, and caught up and we visited our old church and some favorite restaurants.
It’s a bittersweet feeling visiting a place you once lived. I have these feelings in Nashville and in the neighborhoods in the Chicago suburbs where I spent much of my life. The streets, the favorite hangouts, the buildings that hold so much of your personal history. Nostalgia is weird. It fills you with a sense of deep sadness that you are no longer in that place, in that season. And yet it fills you with such deep joy at the goodness you experienced during those years. I find myself often saying, “God was good to us here.”
Nostalgia is often seen as a negative emotion, an obstacle to moving forward. John F. Kennedy said, in a speech, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.” Mike Ditka, the iconic football coach, was a bit more blunt, “Those who live in the past are cowards and losers.” And of course we have the Apostle Paul who said of himself, “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead (Phillippians 3:13).”
The past can be a weight, especially if it is filled with dark memories of hurt and pain. Just as the memory of good times can be a balm, the memory of bad times can be debilitating. There is virtue in moving forward, with forgiveness and faith and healing so as not to paralyze the future.
Good memories can also impede success. This is what I think Paul is getting at, refusing to sort of rest on his spiritual laurels and instead is determined to keep growing in godliness and character. There is a kind of nostalgia that constantly seeks to recreate a mythical past. The 40-year-old who peaked in high school and has never quite grown up is embarrassing. Or a memory that lies to us, in a season of suffering, where the past is easier than it was. The children of Israel did this as they moved through the wilderness. Suddenly the bondage of Egypt looked not so bad.
However, not all nostalgia is negative. Humans are complex creatures, layered with roots and a history and formative seasons of life. God also instructed Israel, over and over again, to retell their story of rescue and redemption. Our stories should be remembered and told as well. Nostalgia, appreciated when triggered, can be a source of encouragement, of faith, of gratitude for God’s guidance and provision. We can say to ourselves, “We’ll never get back to where we were, but life was good here, in these moments.” Yes, our minds often airbrush away the difficulty and preserve only the highlights, but that is, I think, a gift. We only experience nostalgia for mostly good experiences.
I’m also finding that the older I get, I am trying to be more intentional about living presently in the good times while they are happening, rather than be too laser-focused on what’s ahead. This moment will be a fresh source of nostalgia when we transition to another season of life.
God’s people, of course, are a people on the move, from Eden to the New Jerusalem. But we still have stories to relive, places with meaning, and memories that won’t fade. This is good.
To hear a bit more of my story and how God walks us through the seasons of life, check out my book, Agents of Grace, available from Zondervan.